What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
