So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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