3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
