before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
We talked him into tasing himself.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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