I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
