i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
