On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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