he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Randomize
