Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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