Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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