me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
