My room smells like vodka and shame
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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