highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
