My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
