that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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