Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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