i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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