just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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