They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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