U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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