k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Woke up backwards on a recliner
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
