I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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