I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Randomize
