Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I will pee on everything he values.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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