i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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