Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
