Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
