I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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