It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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