Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
