You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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