No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
