Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize