He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Are my feet made of real feet?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
