please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
