you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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