Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
