well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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