Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
