either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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