the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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