Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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