Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
