...so i touched it.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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