i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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