i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
