Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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