I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Can i not drive my cunt home
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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