I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
