His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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