all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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