You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
