i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I think my moral compass just broke
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
