dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
