Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
