I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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