low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
