I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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